First off I wanted to announce that I got a new netbook today, the keyboard is hard to type on. It is so tiny and light that I am not even dreading carrying it around all day at law school! Anyways, on to the good stuff.
Is it better to be aware of your strengths in life and to "play" them to your advantage or to put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable and are out of your element so to speak. I believe in both and have heard of each being a strategy to live your life. Of course doing what seems natural is the easier way to go and some would say smarter because you are more efficient in doing things you are good at and comfortable with. On the other hand we grow each time we step outside our comfort zone and I would say that some of the best memories I have required a little bit of both of these mantras. Moving to Riverside and hanging out with who I hung out with and becoming the person I became was out of my comfort zone for sure at the beginning, doing something totally different and beyond any recognition I previously held. On the other hand once I met these people I stayed in this comfortable new shell that i had created for myself. It is not hard to tell that I am a naturally introverted person who thrives on being able to do his own thing when the mood strikes. However it is without a doubt that to survive in this world we need to step out into the sunlight and experience the world. So a mixture is a good thing. Also, situationally, there are many aspects to this issue that play a role. When we need to be at our most professional, steppign into something new and unfamiliar probably isn't the safest of maneuvers but that may be the point, some of us like to play it safe and stick to what we knoe, boring and plain, and there are others of us that like to take risks, live fast and genuinely fly by the seat of our pants. Which type are you? 1 time
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Addictions
So is it an addiction if you can't think about anything but being with a hot girl?
Is it an addiction if you want to eat so bad you want nothing else?
Is it an addiction when your only thought in the morning is to play golf?
Is an addiction something you can get over?
What is an addiction?
I guess the real question is why do we use the word with such notoriety?
It's true that some people, many people have serious issues with addiction but aren't there as many or more people that have good addictions? Workaholic, Chocaholic, tvaholic(this one is pretty much a given for most americans), textaholic, twitteraholic, facebookaholic. When u add -aholic to the end of any of these do the become addictions. Just becase it isnt a destructive addiction or a short-lived one does that mean is not an addiction? I guess the difference escapes me, but here is the dictionary definition:
1: the quality or state of being addicted (addiction to reading)>(which is the things I have been describing)
2: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal ; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful(which is the definition most of us think about but habit-forming substance could be anything right? It could become a habit to some of us to wash our hands, or be addidted t it. Might have to have OCD to do so but still Anyways, just some stuff on the top of my mind, 1 Time.
Is it an addiction if you want to eat so bad you want nothing else?
Is it an addiction when your only thought in the morning is to play golf?
Is an addiction something you can get over?
What is an addiction?
I guess the real question is why do we use the word with such notoriety?
It's true that some people, many people have serious issues with addiction but aren't there as many or more people that have good addictions? Workaholic, Chocaholic, tvaholic(this one is pretty much a given for most americans), textaholic, twitteraholic, facebookaholic. When u add -aholic to the end of any of these do the become addictions. Just becase it isnt a destructive addiction or a short-lived one does that mean is not an addiction? I guess the difference escapes me, but here is the dictionary definition:
1: the quality or state of being addicted (addiction to reading)>(which is the things I have been describing)
2: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal ; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful(which is the definition most of us think about but habit-forming substance could be anything right? It could become a habit to some of us to wash our hands, or be addidted t it. Might have to have OCD to do so but still Anyways, just some stuff on the top of my mind, 1 Time.
Monday, July 6, 2009
On the Eve of Finality
Why do I think of things as being so permanent/ Sometimes I feel every small decision or non-decision is an effort to shape the rest of my life, when in fact nothing is forever, nothing cannot be undone with a little work. However we cannot take back that moment, that instant that just flew by as I typed these words, you are spending your time reading this and I thinking of the words to follow these. A small and ultimately immeasurable moment of your life but a decision that you made to do so. I have been thinking a lot about decisions lately and have decided that although some are important and more important than others, sometime we have to trust fate and let our lives be decided by forces greater than ourselves. I tried my hardest to go to USF, writing letters and phone calls but it was not to be. So what now? I can be sad over not getting in there or accept the things I cannot change. (Wow that is the first step of Alcoholics Anonymous, I knew I was a drunk but damn!) Anyways those little adages like "life goes on" or "don't sweat the small stuff" make me feel more fulfillment and a greater enjoyment on a daily basis. Really though, when things happen we learn and thinking 1 time on your experiences makes you a better person. 1 time.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Endless thoughts and knowledge
I have been thinking a lot lately, as I always do, over analyzing life in a way that many may feel to be unnecessary. I need to understand things it keeps me on edge that I am not settled into anything yet even though law school is right around the corner I feel lost in the sea of life trying to find a star or nautical compass for direction. I thought I knew everything there was to know about myself, my tendencies, likes, dislikes all that. However, each new waking brings feelings of indifference for things I thought were going to play a major role in my life goals. I want to figure it out but right now just need something to do, maybe I need to become more organized set long and short term goals then meet and exceed them. One positive note though is that drinking is not a problem right now, my friends here in town drink A LOT but it hasn't been something I look forward to or even participate in too thoroughly. Still in class til October so I got a weekly reminder of some truly fucked up lives and where I could be headed if I choose to go down that path. Thinking about life and hte future makes my head hurt, idle hands again, it really is the only reason I have been having trouble this summer. If I had a job in which I was working hard I feel like that would be the best thing for me, I am happiest and have always been when I am busy doing something for pay or for positive effects. Don't sweat the small things...seriously its hard but don't do it. Think 1 time then walk away if you can.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Idle Hands, Idle Minds
The spirit of evil can strike a person whose mind is open to recieving such ideas. When we are bored or without purpose trouble brews. Snaking through our veins are the pattens to commit acts of a treacherous nature. It becomes ingrained in the very fabric of our being following an offense or two. Becoming who we are in a world built upon image wher one slip up can cost dearly. The demons we have, that visit us daily are beckoning with these immoral tendencies. Fighting viciously at the nips of temptation we struggle to fly ever higher, escaping their jaws, and following the path we intend to tread towards success. The situations we choose to put ourselves in are occasionally closer to the pitfalls which makes the struggle we face even more difficult. Life's decisions make all the difference because choosing relentlessly to be within reach of evil will result in being snatched by the ankle and dragged into despair.
Tried not to get too religously influenced with it but hey, this is America where church and state are seperate? haha
Tried not to get too religously influenced with it but hey, this is America where church and state are seperate? haha
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Another Rant and Life Observation about Decisions:(May not be in any coherent order)
As I tried to keep my emotions in check it became increasingly difficult not to grind the enamel from my teeth.
“Insert annoying generalization of ignorance here”
Not being a violent person, never having been in a fight, never giving a piece of my mind to a stranger about anything, there is nothing I wanted more than to turn around punch them in the face and yell plainly “Shut the fuck up! Just…Shut up…” Alas, that was not me but who am I really? Recently reinventing my identity has become a regular occurrence. I find that regional location adds as much into our personality as our actions to some degree. Attitudes and general ideas around us are transmitted into our daily life whether we realize it or not. In choosing where to go to law school, the bay area, Sacramento, or Chicago the personalities of each place come into play. Having grown up in the East Bay certain standards become apparent while others are farther from mainstream news and thoughts. One example would be the environmental views we harbor here and the disdain with which we look upon those wasting water, polluting, or so on. This eventually defines the region and the small differences between places in the same country define the people there as well as the lifestyle. Many of these things are a result of the location and the ability to entertain certain activities such as hockey. In the Bay Area it is not a huge recreational activity simply because it requires more effort, money, commitment to participate in. If the lakes around here froze we may be more interested in a sport that is regarded as a cold weather one.
A major life decision really makes you think what in life is important to you, and in making this decision I have learned as much about myself as the places I have been looking to go. Those small preferences make a lot of difference when we are assessing a place, deciding if we would enjoy something or somewhere. What other factors are there to consider about a place other than our immediate assessment of our needs as individuals. However, when thinking about these things the future happiness comes into play and I couldn’t help but think will I be happy here in 3 months, 6 months, how about a year or more? Can we really even say that? In my opinion these all important questions are unanswerable with the limited information gathered during a visit. Much of my thoughts relate back to what I know about a place, the basic stereotypes that becomes widely accepted as the identity of a place. Chicago is known for its pizza, frigid temperatures, and overall Midwest culture. Well, that is my perspective on the situation but however misguided these ideas are, they are certainly playing a part in my decision making process.
It is this kind of ignorance that we should be wary of because it makes us sound like uneducated boors. Making decisions on poor or unqualified information makes little to no sense, however it is these decision who define us as people. This is an accurate depiction of most of America whose opinions are based on the media spoon feeding us biased information or spinning the information to give it that perfected touch of doctoring that makes them so powerful. They find it their duty to make us see things from their point of view, and it is, all those involved are taking home a paycheck for corrupting a perfectly good opportunity to exercise some decision-making. Life can be broken down into decisions, a well known fact, but it is more important how we make these decisions. Until you have made a major life decision, which weighed heavily on your mind it is not apparent the process one must go through to complete it effectively. That being the key word, effectively, because most anyone can decide something, but those in charge in the government or higher ups in corporations are trusted to riticall analyze each point in life and make crucial decisions with precision. The precise timings and underwriting motives for decisions are of the utmost importance to their final outcome and overall effect. Without the unpredictable variables associated with everyday life a straight fact-based decision would be infinitely simpler. Anyone can look at a price and determine the cheapest solution however it takes a trained and acute mind to research the life span of the cheaper versus more expensive product and determine the long-term costs. This far more important skill is one that we can compare to a chess game in which one player is planning his next move to be the one that puts his adversary in check while the more effective player is thinking 10 moves ahead to where he will get a checkmate. Often times, because of the variables mentioned before these forward thinkers can be derailed from their plan due to unpredictable circumstances.
“Insert annoying generalization of ignorance here”
Not being a violent person, never having been in a fight, never giving a piece of my mind to a stranger about anything, there is nothing I wanted more than to turn around punch them in the face and yell plainly “Shut the fuck up! Just…Shut up…” Alas, that was not me but who am I really? Recently reinventing my identity has become a regular occurrence. I find that regional location adds as much into our personality as our actions to some degree. Attitudes and general ideas around us are transmitted into our daily life whether we realize it or not. In choosing where to go to law school, the bay area, Sacramento, or Chicago the personalities of each place come into play. Having grown up in the East Bay certain standards become apparent while others are farther from mainstream news and thoughts. One example would be the environmental views we harbor here and the disdain with which we look upon those wasting water, polluting, or so on. This eventually defines the region and the small differences between places in the same country define the people there as well as the lifestyle. Many of these things are a result of the location and the ability to entertain certain activities such as hockey. In the Bay Area it is not a huge recreational activity simply because it requires more effort, money, commitment to participate in. If the lakes around here froze we may be more interested in a sport that is regarded as a cold weather one.
A major life decision really makes you think what in life is important to you, and in making this decision I have learned as much about myself as the places I have been looking to go. Those small preferences make a lot of difference when we are assessing a place, deciding if we would enjoy something or somewhere. What other factors are there to consider about a place other than our immediate assessment of our needs as individuals. However, when thinking about these things the future happiness comes into play and I couldn’t help but think will I be happy here in 3 months, 6 months, how about a year or more? Can we really even say that? In my opinion these all important questions are unanswerable with the limited information gathered during a visit. Much of my thoughts relate back to what I know about a place, the basic stereotypes that becomes widely accepted as the identity of a place. Chicago is known for its pizza, frigid temperatures, and overall Midwest culture. Well, that is my perspective on the situation but however misguided these ideas are, they are certainly playing a part in my decision making process.
It is this kind of ignorance that we should be wary of because it makes us sound like uneducated boors. Making decisions on poor or unqualified information makes little to no sense, however it is these decision who define us as people. This is an accurate depiction of most of America whose opinions are based on the media spoon feeding us biased information or spinning the information to give it that perfected touch of doctoring that makes them so powerful. They find it their duty to make us see things from their point of view, and it is, all those involved are taking home a paycheck for corrupting a perfectly good opportunity to exercise some decision-making. Life can be broken down into decisions, a well known fact, but it is more important how we make these decisions. Until you have made a major life decision, which weighed heavily on your mind it is not apparent the process one must go through to complete it effectively. That being the key word, effectively, because most anyone can decide something, but those in charge in the government or higher ups in corporations are trusted to riticall analyze each point in life and make crucial decisions with precision. The precise timings and underwriting motives for decisions are of the utmost importance to their final outcome and overall effect. Without the unpredictable variables associated with everyday life a straight fact-based decision would be infinitely simpler. Anyone can look at a price and determine the cheapest solution however it takes a trained and acute mind to research the life span of the cheaper versus more expensive product and determine the long-term costs. This far more important skill is one that we can compare to a chess game in which one player is planning his next move to be the one that puts his adversary in check while the more effective player is thinking 10 moves ahead to where he will get a checkmate. Often times, because of the variables mentioned before these forward thinkers can be derailed from their plan due to unpredictable circumstances.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
What am I supposed to be doing?
Repetitious days producing boredom make me think again and again that I am supposed to be doing something else with my time. I'm not sure what that is or of course I would be doing it. Right now I feel is an unique opportunity to try things that wouldn't necessarily be possible if post-college life had gone differently. Although we could hash out hypothetical situations til it physically hurts maybe wat I am doing is what is supposed to happen in my life. And even if it isn't that doesn't change the fact that it already has happened or is currently. So either way looking back at this point is without merit. Looking forward is fun but just looking won't be productive. Is it better to be content in our current state or be actively pursuing a better one? I would argue for the latter and in that capacity I am doing ok although it does not really feel like it. It must come down to whether or not the current activity is getting us to where we need to go. If it's not helping or hindering then you feel like me, waiting to go to school not enough time to really apply myself elsewhere in too great a capacity. Trying to keep it together in a time of inactivity to survive until a time of immense activity. I'm supposed to be...that's a myth free will let's us do watever we want, it's the journey not the destination that makes our lives full.
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