When life smacks you down...

What are you going to do in response? We all respond differently to adversity but the most common response is to stress out, to get down and depressed. We want someone to comfort us and make us feel like no matter what hapens we are still loved and appreciated. Recently I was smacked down by life. I was partying in Sacramento with my friends and made a terrible decision that has since changed my outlook on life and my position in it.

I spent 17+ hours in jail after being arrested on felony DUI charges. Embarassed. Sitting in a holding cell with all the other people who had made the mistake I had. Depressed. Knowing that you can;t take back your actions, wishing you weren't there, knowing you can't do anything about it. Nervous. Being stuck in a cage takes something out of you mentally, being locked up in a room gives you an appreciation of being free of living life, everyday above ground and free is another gift of life. Deliberate. Everything is for a reason and everything I do will be thought out from now on. Bad decisions can ruin your life, even one. Most of the people I met in jail had been there before, these people were second and even third time offenders. I can't imagine the awful time these people must be having and I feel a certain remorse for their strife.

So what now, I have a decision to make I feel. I can either let this event eat me alive as I did for the first week. It was hard to eat, I had butterflys 24 hours a day. I couldn't sleep without my mind constantly thinking about what was facing in the future. I was afraid that since it was a felony I would be heading back to jail. This time for weeks or wven months. I wouldn't be able to vote anymore, and every job from now on I will have to declare my conviction of a felony. The constant stench of this night tarnishing my permanent record. It really is enough to drive someone crazy and I was on my way there. The other option to this decision was to grow from it, learn the err of my ways and become a stronger person. Obviously, the latter is the preferable response however, it takes a certain amont of mental strength to get there. Time is the most continous and effective healer in any situation like this. It feels good to let out your feelings and I am glad I had my family and friends to let out the proverbial pressure this situation was having on me.

I will grow. I will expand my horizons and appreciate everyday I have with the people I love and care about. I will take this situation to heart everytime I am making a decision which could affect my future. I will be smarter and work harder to overcome any damage this situation may have on my life. I have not taken a drink since this day, nor do I plan to anytime soon. I have not sped, rolled through a stop sign or otherwise been careless while driving, nor do I plan to. Life has been simpler when things are put into perspective of importance. Life is important, people are important, and thought is important. I need to take m own advice and think about it one time for my mind. Never again.